Anthropomorphism is ‘the attribution of human characteristics or behavior placed on a animal, or object.’ I cant help but feel this overwhelming sense at the moment and I’m not quiet sure how to deal with it. I feel like I am doing this a-lot towards my patients. In my mind its for the best-obviously, but in reality, is it rational? There are some days where I dont know where I fit into this world. What my purpose or place is. Where I feel an overwhelming sense of anxiety and helplessness. That the simplest of things will set the flood gates open for no known reason. I guess the overwhelming demand of the profession I’m in, what I see and deal with on a daily basis brings around a-lot of emotion but you dont get a lot of time to process it nor really talk about it. Until your standing in the room with the bright lights shining from above you with what feels like YOUR life flashing before your eyes it is suddenly all over. And as quickly as it all over its then back to what you were doing before like nothing has happened. But yet somewhere outside of the cold, sterile walls of what we call the hospital there is a grieving family as they have just been told the devastating news of what has happened to their beloved pet. I couldn’t bear to think how I would be if I was to be in the shoes of these people. I physically dont see how I would cope. I would want everything humanly possible to be done for my fur baby because his life is worth living and saving. Not just for my sake but for his too. But where do you draw the line? This is the concept I am struggling to come to terms with at the moment. Between wanting to do everything humanly possible to save the lives of those so precious (human and animal alike) but then not to let them endure anymore suffering. To know that there is that option that we can humanly end their suffering but its not something yet available to humans is a tiny bit reassuring. I’m unbelievably scared to think about what the future holds for my boy as I’m not sure if I would be able to make a sane enough decision right now.
Life is precious. There are days when I wish it could end but at the same time I wouldn’t wish the devastating impact it would have on the people around me because I have seen the results. As selfish as these thoughts are when you deal with cessation of animals life day in and day out, not always by choice, it makes you appreciate life from a whole other perspective but it also can turn your thoughts the other way too. I guess my way of coping and dealing with being in this harsh environment is to anthropomorphize my emotions onto my patients in the hope I can try and do something to make their lives just that little bit more comfortable as they have no verbal way of expressing their thoughts and feelings.