Believe: Can be defined as ‘to have confidence or faith in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something’
To me this word has been with me for many years and will be for the rest of my life. Every day is a new day. A new struggle. But every morning I arise to face the challenges or demons it has set for me.
Ever since I was little, or in fact in every little child’s life they are brought up being told fairy tales as part of a bed time ritual, or on a celebratory holiday. They are lead to believe in fairy tale’s, that a magical world is somewhere out their waiting for them. To grant their hopes and dreams, everything they have every wished for.
Then one day some kid at school will bring there whole make-believe world crashing down around them. They will run home to their parents screaming and crying and demanding to be told that the Easter bunny and Santa clause are real and that the big mean kids at school are just telling tales. Then the parents, will look each other in the eye, knowing that their child is growing up and that the now have to do the right thing and break their little hearts, let them into the tremendously cruel world and tell them “No hunny, Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter bunny do not exist. It was mummy and daddy all along.” Their world shattered, the fictional characters they once dreamed of that once a year came down the chimney, or left a dollar under their pillow will no longer be visiting.
Welcome to the cruel and harsh world of reality.
Jumping forward 15 years and its not till now do I finally understand the actual definition of believe. One that exists in the real world, and not my own fairy tale world. After countless years of struggles, ones that have been buried deep at the bottom of the earth, that were planted as seeds rights from when I was a little girl, have slowly been watered, have come out in their ugliest form but also the most beautiful. Are now being shaped and over the years have shed their leaves and are reaching towards the shining sun, but doing so in ways which is only making me stronger.
I am learning from my past, my struggles, my en-devours. All that I have gone through, all that I am going through and all that is yet to shower upon me I will carry with my head held high the strength and knowledge that believing is what will carry me through this life.
The word ‘believe’ is permanently in-scripted on me so that it can never leave my side. Be there when nothing is else is. When things get tough, when life throws me its harshest storm and blows its gail force winds I will be ready to stand and fight and ‘believe in myself’ and all that I can do, and all I can achieve.
Fairy tales, well its nice to believe that there could be something out there, but I know my place on this earth is to create my own fairy tale. One that is utterly different from what every other prince and princess was told right before they fell asleep.
My fairy tale will be created on my own terms and far from any traditional one. There will be rules but only my rules and anyone who doesn’t believe does not belong in my world. I have always been told to believe in myself and that I can do what ever I set my mind to, to not let anything or anyone get in my way of where I want to go in life. I may not be naturally gifted with the academic brains or outstanding beauty of my younger sibling nor have the ability to make my parents proud in everything they hoped for in a daughter, but for myself I am going to do what make me and ONLY ME happy and live my life, believing that there is a destiny set for me somewhere in the not so distant future.